Stop Being So Unkind To Ourselves!


I am always on a mission to stop being so hard on myself. I don’t know about you, but I find this really quite hard at times. I’m always told I don’t give myself enough credit for all of the hard work I put into things; I just always think I could have done better. I am starting to realise that this mindset does not get me anywhere and definitely doesn’t allow me to have a positive mindset.

Are you like me and have an annoying voice in your head: “You’re so stupid!”, “Why did you mess that up?”, “I’m going to fail.” I am at times essentially my own worst enemy, stuck in an persistent internal battle with myself. This is not motivating at all! I’m motivated by positives, and now I’m slowly learning to be kinder to myself by being accepting my strengths and my weaknesses.

Happiness in my opinion comes from understanding and being kind to ourselves. Below are some things that I do to achieve this:


Each day I try to think of three things I’m grateful for. It helps me focus on the good, rather than the negatives. This helps me to develop a positive mindset

.Practicing Yoga

Yoga is something that I love at the minute. I have a yoga mat and blocks in my uni room and usually follow Cat Meffan’s Youtube videos. I also attend weekly yoga sessions at my gym. This helps me take my mind off everything for a short while and helps me calm down and relax slightly.

Stop comparing

I love the quote, ‘Step by step guide on how to become extremely happy: 1. Stop comparing yourself to anyone else.’ Comparisons never make us happy so we should always focus on ourselves. Life is not a competition.

Live in the moment

I try to stop worrying about what I’m going to have to do in the near future and focus on the here and now. This gives my mind a bit of freedom and space to breathe.

My thoughts

When I understand my thoughts, I can see what I’m overthinking and why. Noticing this can help me to try to stop worrying and support positive thinking. Thoughts can be controlled. I’ve learnt that I can decide what I think about, and I can decide how I react to situations going on around me.

I would never be or say anything unkind to my best friend or family members, so why would I say them to myself? Negative self-talk can be really harmful to mental health. I always try to be a positive friend who makes others feel good; I just often forget to do the same for me. I try to talk through a friend’s problem to help them see a different perspective and pinpoint what’s important. Helping a friend makes me feel 100% better.

Everyone hears that destructive inner dialogue sometimes, but the more we talk about it and feel connected, the sooner our worries dissipate.


LifestyleRachel Fox